There is peace
In me which
Is as deep as
The mind of God
When you are near….
Having neither rival nor equal.
Tag: love and relationships
30 Days Of Jaye – Day 23: Ghosts
What do I do
Now when what you
Left me with
Haunts me…
And with all resolve
As faith gives
I send it back to
You.
The love was mine—this is mine.
I give this back to you!
I will not leave you to rest!
When it calls to you
from the depths of
what you thought
was dead
to quicken you
with kisses warm
and love a deep
reminding you of just
what you held on
for the glimpses of
future hidden in
past if I were
To just give you
more time
“You know
I love you
You know
she cannot be
what you are to me…”
Wait for me
you are my heart
love of my life…
there’s a chance
wake me from
summer willing my heart
to start all over again
so the wedding
won’t be so hard
this time perhaps
-JBHarris, July 2021
To The First Work-Day 13
The sexiest thing I have done is choose myself. All of me…
Choosing me has required accepting myself on a level that I wasn’t brave enough before. I think—especially as a Black woman!—you must accept yourself so that you can move in the world unencumbered!
Racism makes Black women shrink, second guess, and hate themselves.
Being Black and woman is a revolutionary act.
Self-love is a revolutionary act.
To The First Work-Day 7
I am the mother of two children.
I must admit: motherhood has forced me to examine love and just how deeply I am able to love another human being. How I must love them and why that is needed.
Some days, love is hard…I can only do it minute by minute. Sometimes I believe that I’m the worse mom ever, that I didn’t meet that threshold of living them well enough that day.
Yet, I get up everyday to try and do better.
Love compels me to better; it compels me to better.
Bonus Piece: Fast Girl Epilogue (NSFW)
While this piece was not included in this printed work, it was too good not to share. -JBH
When I asked you
to be my first,
I meant that
first—
last
The everything
first time
my legs would shake
on your shoulders.
The first time
I will ever feel a
spread in my hips
to the point every chakra
would realign to
ruin me for
any other man
that would dare
look at me
knowing that I was yours
deeper than senses
longer than love
quicker than Lightning flashes –
that kind of belonging
you can’t buy…
that kind of power—
you can’t mimic
when I asked you
into my body
to be the first
to explore
to awaken
to erupt everything in me
that was meant for you
I meant that.
I meant that,
like God is real
admitting all I held
for you—
would belong to you,
which means there
was a lock on the inside
of me with
your name on it—
If you thought my
mouth was slick,
You’ll find out
What else already is
A lock that
no one could find
but you—
Just like they put
names on hollow point
bullets so that the soul
will be captured,
I wanted to be
captured—
to be held
to be found
by you and none but you.
Knowing the caliber of love
and love making,
Relentless exploration
that the kids call fucking
you would give to me
—and only me —
because I asked
it of you.
when I asked you
to be my first
I meant for you
to be the last
because how often
do you get to
touch the sun
and live to tell about it?
-JBHarris, October 2022
NEW BOOK-Next Lifetime Things
Grab a copy on Amazon! The Kindle version is coming!
One of my favorite songs is, and may always be, Next Lifetime.
There is a honesty to this song, a wondering, and a realizing that while life is changing–so are you.
This collection of poetry was written about a year ago, and started with the work Reflections From A Back Porch Swing. This poetry collection tells of how my own body is aging and betraying me at points. I talk about the new relationship I accidentally fell into, and even the shifting nature of motherhood now.
Everything is happening, and I am in the everything! In this shifting levels of amazing, there is a peace I have found in these pieces. There is more of me in this work, as a realized, happy 41-year-old woman, than I ever had before.
This lifetime, this lifetime and next lifetime, is amazing!
What Does A Warrior Do On Valentine’s Day?
Today, Love Day, and I looking at the books that I have to submit to Amazon, and the happiness I have there, and have found in this new relationship. In writing Next Lifetime Things, this was a book which was totally unexpected! It’s not like that I gave up on love–but I wasn’t looking for it. Trust, no one is as shocked as me–no one!
So this Valentine’s Day, I am in the presence of a man that adores me. He opens doors for me, and remembers just how I like coffee, complete with cheek kisses.
Yet, as I sit her, happy, caffeinated, and with my legs in his lap as we watch television, I am reminded of Breonna Taylor and how she was with her love when her life ended. I am thinking of all the Black men who didn’t come home to their wives. I think about how tired I am of writing about grief, abuses, and trauma!
Then, as I let the anger settle, something else rumbles from that.
It is hot, and simmering, and comes through the deftness of my fingers.
What does a warrior do on Valentine’s Day? Warriors still fight, still war, because they believe in love, in justice and peace. We may just eat chocolate first.
The Underside Of Safe
Be safe he says
To me
Believing that
Love is all I will need.
However,
In this body
Grown, fed and
Shaped to be
Woman who
Drapes power in
Black skin—
Where can I be safe?
-JBHarris, April 2021
#BlackBlogsMatter Challenge—Week 12 (2021)
Black women are some of the most incredible human beings on the face of the planet. We are. We are the Dora Milaje!
That Sisterhood, both mythic and ancient, bought by blood and time—we are amazing. That word Sis is ours! It is that recognition of each other, the divinity in each other—it is activated by the word Sis.
That power cannot be wielded by unbelievers! It cannot be transferred by those who cannot see Black as divine. White women cannot have this space, accessing our love and power because she feels she can. This is ours! This space is ours! This love, this security, this inevitable protection in this space.
A Black woman is more that what she appears to be! And will always be! It is up to the Black women of this Sisterhood to approve the worthy of access to that word, that space, to those whose melanin quotient doesn’t match our own!
We own this space.
We will not apologize.
Your whiteness is not a guarantee for approval, access, and acceptance! We own us now. We are of our own purchase. We are Queens again, your fury our thrones.
For The ‘POSE’!
I NEED ALL THE THINGS TO HAPPEN ON THIS SHOW THIS SEASON!
I stopped my entire life to watch the Season 3 premiere of POSE on FX! I made sure my kids were in bed, that I had snacks, because I was prepared to have my emotions snatched from me.
It was then that I remembered that this was the last season. Then I remembered that there are transwomen being my murdered left and right—including my dear YouTube sister, Jahaira Balenciaga just this month!
I am looking forward to what Ryan Murphy and company do this season, because so far (we have now jumped from 1991 to 1995):
Blanca got a bae
Papi and Angel are still together
Ricky and Pray together still
Cubby died (Whew, Jesus!)
Pray back to drinking
Lulu got Angel back on that sh#t!
Blanca going to nursing school!
Electra is still shady as hell!
Whew! And that is just the first two episodes! What being a fan is this show has broadened my scope as it relates to empathy. To love and even what it means to be and ally, accomplice or an advocate. You cannot love POSE and not support Black transwomen.
I said what I said.
I know this is about to be so good, I know I am going to cry so hard, and I know I’ll be cussing at the television in two languages again—BUT! That is the power of great writing. That is the power of great story telling. That is the power of representation.
Let’s hope the Emmys get it RIGHT this time. Indiya Moore and Mj Rodriguez deserve EVERYTHING!
I Breathe Fire 