Confidence Is A Superpower

Confidence is an intangible, invaluable tool for navigating this life as a woman. With all the uproar over Gabourey Sidibe and a dress she wore to the Golden Globes on Sunday night, there have been mean comments via Twitter, Facebook and countless comments riddled with venom, or what the glamorous refer to as “shade”. I sat, thought and wondered this…is this why we as women can’t unify? Is this why? We are still caught up on how someone LOOKS in something? Nevermind the fact of a woman being talented, driven and visible, operating in all facets of her talents regardless of station in life or situation she may find herself in.

We as women have to learn how to get OVER ourselves. We really do, and learn to celebrate each other, and be an ENCOURAGEMENT. Granted, it can be a struggle to shift focus from the exterior to the interior of a person, seeing that the exterior is the thing that is most of us are taught to dress up, doll up and play up with the latest fashion, or mascara. Whether it be Christian Louboutin’s she wears, Nine West slingbacks, Nikes or Payless flats she wears, why should it matter? If a woman is famous, infamous or anonymous there are some things that are synonymous to the human experience. As women, I believe with have this vision about our ideal selves, and what we wish to be or change. We confront insecurities, issues, and pains only the Lord knows of daily. Why make a day in the life of another woman harder than it must be? Each of us as a past written, present we live, and a future we are creating. Let us decide to do better. Not just for ourselves, but for those whose lives we effect. Let us teach our daughter to be better women, sisters and friends. So at the time when purpose and destiny intersect, the sons of the Most High may have better wives to assist with the changing of the world.

*-All of us, the writer included have been guilty of “sizing a woman up”, as if her worth is attached to what she wears to bare to the world. We have no idea what each of us has been divinely assigned to bare and conquer for the sake of our destiny. By design of the Creator, choice is the most incredible source of determination, compounded by the choice of words. Endurance in a choice. Confidence is a choice. Quitting is a choice. Running from what you have decided to do is a choice. To have your destiny stopped by what someone has told you is a choice. Being distracted is a choice. I am choosing to use my words to bless and edify. Let the weeding begin.

THINGS I PONDER:
(c) JPHarris, 2014

An Elegy For 88 Keys

My adopted brother, LeArthur Antonio Lee, died January 6. He was a brainstorming partner, my trusted friend, music, producer, confidant and all-around good dude.

I miss him. -JBHarris

Rest easy, Big Brother

God gave me a brother-

I forgot He was gonna need him back.

Someone to talk shop with

laugh with—

cry to, and be

reminded that everything

in me is neither fraud,

nor to be afraid of.

For all that burned in him,

finding peace between

Ebony and Ivory,

he gave pieces back

to the world which

had not given all

he demanded.

And now…

those fingers are still.

The keyboards dusty.

The songs unsung.

Melodies change into memories.

And we all don’t know what to do.

God gave me a brother—

I forgot He was gonna need him back.

-JBHarris, January 2023

The Expectation Of Life

I’m in mourning. Pray for me. -JBH

I believe once you become conscious of your own mortality, you fight for immortality.

You change diet, illuminate stress, sleep more… doing anything to stop the clock or wind it back in a few years.

The great sadness of it all is that we know and ultimately this is futile. Will know there will be one day where the Reaper will come for us… Yet, we hope that the day is a long time off.

That day, where the world will miss us, and we will no longer be in the world, yet prepare for the Great Getting-Up Morning.

We expect those in our world to be a part of our lives as much as they can as long as they can.

We speak to their hopes: so their heart don’t fail.

We sow into the talents: so they may not be discouraged.

We ask them to stay. We plead with him to stay!

We believe God with them, for them, to stay.

And yet they slip through our fingers in early mornings. Or late nights. When we leave the room unattended.

They leave because they’re tired. Or uncertain. And we are forced into mourning clothes. And pray they don’t fit too tight.

Life is steady, linear… And unfair. Yet for the great unfairness of it all, perhaps it is best that we not walk the clock too closely.

Which makes us forget the Reaper is there…holding it.

-JBHarris, January 2023

Written after the death of my adopted brother LeArthur Antonio Lee at age 40.

Being A Granddaughter

Thinking:

My grandmother was the indomitable presence, she could restore familial order with a look or a sound. She had the strength, and wit I envied. I aspired to master, not emulate. I wanted this essence she had. I figured if I had it, that wit would allow me to maneuver with ease through this life. Now, that same woman, granted mortality to teach us her descendants how to run, I learn was only mortal, perhaps more mortal than me. I now learn only a fraction more her after her passing. The regality of aging is not lost on me. I want to be able to retain a measure of grace and charm that will not make me stone, but won’t make a fool or trifled with either.

Good thing sanctification is a process.

-JBHarris, December 2013

Hell Is For Racist White People

Morrison said race is a distraction; looks crazy, feels crazy—stops you from doing your work. In a nation concerned with the color of Christ, than His character or cause, use history as eraser and bludgeon, powered by a theology by which will always see us as other as less outside of the God of the universe and His love—binding Him to White men whom need to hobble or brainwash anyone who does not find them to be the Almighty.

In pursuit of bravery and freedom, I leave the lazy descendents of slaveholders; grandsons of murderers; daughters of rape accusers and their defenders; daughters of all Confederates, to the god of their making, for the Hell they made for me and those who look like me.

This place devoid of privilege and power, where only suffering answers them. Gnashing on tongues they cut out or silenced out of Black people: remembering just how at that our of their death the plot twist most unimaginable! They see Mother Mary, her Son, and His Father are all Black.

-JBHarris, December 2022

The Immovable Trinity

Day-jobbing and listening to MasterClass:

Never think that this gift I have is not demanding. I have leaned into this gift, succumbed to the demand of it.

It is the best restlessness.

It is the most intimate of imagining.

Yet, I am keenly aware, what I do—

Black woman writer
Writer, Black and woman
Woman whom is Black and writer. —

Is an immovable, immutable trinity.

For such designations, I write.

I persevere and preserve.
I remember and reckon.

I reimagine.

-JBHarris, December 2022

SisterKeeper

Image from Lensa in December 2022

Tell me where my sister is

because the days are long

and the night is dark.

Tell me where my sister is

because I know she is

somewhere

wounded, weary and sad.

Tell me where my sister is

because I know

somewhere she is trying

to breathe underwater

and concrete

and tree roots

and she is trying

to get back to me

tell me where my sister is

so that I may be comfort to her

tell me where my sister is

because I cannot seem to find her.

someone please let my sister

know that I am on the lookout for her

that I am looking for her

in grass and water

and trees

and mirror.

let my sister know that she is not by herself.

Let my sister know

I see her face

as my face

As I seek after my own self

and bring healing with me.

Tell my sister that I am on my way.

Tell my sister I bring

ancestral help with me

because God has equipped

me to find her for just such a time is this

to remind her that she will not die here!

strengthen me again oh God,

So I might find my sister,

remind her of the divinity

which rests on the inside

of her

let my sister know

she doesn’t have to hold her breath

For much longer because

Who were coming

are coming

and are now here

that she would be rescued.

All she need do is to exist.

tell me where my sister is

because the days are long and night is coming.

JBHarris, December 2022

(written in response to the backlash of Megan Jovon Ruth Pete AKA Meg Thee Stallion during the and the trial of Tory Lanez when he was accused of shooting her.

SOCIAL MEDIA LYNCHING (Part 2): “Follow All Backups”

If you mention the phrase follow all backups the appropriate answer is, ‘Drop them in the comments!’

On TikTok, this is common. In the 12 years I have been on social media (among 4 platforms–in March 2023 I will have been on Twitter a DECADE!), I have seen how racism, white supremacy, and misogynoir converge to rip down platforms for anyone whom may want the world to be better.

The idea of having a backup page occurred to me after my first few bans and video reporting became more prevalent. From COVID-19, to racism, to sexism–how could a cis-het Black woman writer be unscathed?

It is common to have backup pages; pages to go to live from; pages to comment or spy. With the algorithm determined or deterred by racism, backup pages are necessary!

Yet, I forgot one thing.

Before the first inneration of whatjayesaid was banned, I had gotten my page kidnapped.

Yes. KIDNAPPED.

I would be banned 3 days, 5 days and 7 days–but access would take a day or more to return to me. I remember one ban took another week to release back to me despite emails and contacting the app directly!

Seems legit.

It was at the knowledge of knowing my account could be kidnapped (as well as mass reported!), I made it my mission to stay on the app…for spite.

Yeah, spite. I’m not above it.

At this posting there are 3 back ups: @shesgottapen2.5, @theecaramelgriot, and @stillwhatjayesaid.

I refuse to let an app that will ban me (a cishet Black woman) and praise real Nazi’s, silence me.

The Great Undoing

White people want to fight for the reputation of America. Hence why they have an issue with Colin Kaepernick kneeling, why they have a problem with us “ungrateful Negroes”.

After all, it’s their ancestors who lynched people, sexually assaulted people, murdered people—“It’s not us!”

What belies this pseudo dialogue are questions which greater White establishment only want obedient an obedient answer to:

Shouldn’t you be happy with what we gave you?

If you’re happy with that, I [as a White person] still remain to be good.

By this logic, whiteness can continually, inherently ‘be good.’ Even though James Baldwin said, “As long as you believe you are white, there is no hope for you.”

The Great Undoing is erasure: hiding history. In doing so, you [as White establishment] preserve the idea of whiteness so much so even the immigrant, non-White peoples whom come to this nation from all over the world, aspire to whiteness! To the point they will disavow cultural knowledge, knowledge of self, to be accepted, preferred by White people!

The majority of White people don’t want to relinquish the which allows them to control the greater narrative, individuality, the ability to claim both group authority and individualism! However, greater white culture desires to strip individuality from non-White people! In doing so, autonomy–freedom!–is limited to and for White people.

Which means we (as non-White people) again are fighting over the right to add to or correct the greater, more palatable narrative. When White people screech, “Who is they?“

They know exactly who they are!

They are the White people who perpetuated some of the most horrible atrocities in human history that you were descended from!

Make no mistake we know the root of the Transatlantic Slave Trade start in Europe; Bishop Bartolomé de las Casas in 1515 said Black people didn’t have souls. Ergo, we are not human. If we are not human, then it is easier to brutalize us.

Even in death we are not safe.

For The Great Undoing, why should Black people be mad, right? One of the tenants of White Supremacy is the expectation of comfort! Being granted the right to never be confronted, accountable, plausible responsibility to anything whiteness cannot profit from.

Why should we as Black people want to rock the boat? Why talk about these things? Why bring it up? The answer to

Y’all have a good here! You’re free now! You’re not mad anymore are you?

Toni Morrison said racism is a distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. This is where us as writers an artist come in! We have the power to go in and out amongst people, in and out of rooms, to make these observations, declarations which other people may be scared to say, or don’t know how to say.

Which is why they still want Black people whose ancestors were enslaved to a land by which they don’t know their original language or names to pledge allegiance.

Don’t you find it interesting?

SOCIAL MEDIA LYNCHING (Part 1): This Is Really Happening

My best friend told me getting on TikTok would be a good idea. Why, you ask? “You have so much to say!”

And I do.

Yet when I joined TikTok in September-October 2020 (at the first wave of COVID-19), right before the 2020 Presidential Election, I found my niche in social justice (Social Justice Tok), and there I remain 4 accounts later.

Reported videos begat bans, begat trolls, begat mass reporting and that pulling down of a platform I built within a year.

It took my breath away when I logged in my account and it was…gone! I felt like my voice had been ripped from me.

It felt like a digital launching.

From that realization, and being the student of history, I came up with the phrase social media lynching. I define it as:

(c) September 2021, JBHarris

The practice of suppressing the content/voices of minority people (especially African-American people) who actively use their voices or position to fight racism, discrimination, erasure, on a social platform only to be banned (silenced) or have their content suppressed, accounts taken or platform sanctioned.

I wasn’t shocked. I was not mad. I got real focused and made a backup plan. And backup pages.

I looked for a pattern to my banned videos and the patterns to bans to other accounts I followed. I saw these 4 things:

1.) Problematic comments filled with whatever a la carte -phobia or -ism.

2.) You check the comment; arguments ensure in the comments.

3.) These comments persist for days and someone reports the video or comment–or both.

4.) All other like videos are flagged (reported).

If you make enough noise, you get this on your account:

Then, you’re a cool kid.