Tag: 30 Days of Jaye

30 Days Of Jaye: Melancholy

a divided heart is never

a trusting thing,

you are at war with demons

of your own creating

you are torn between the

potential and what is within

your grasp

such aches encourage and

thrive on sleepless nights,

heartache a companion you

tend to befriend

I have incurred such a task

I have something so wondrous

within my sights,

yet my desires seem to turn

me away from it–

yet I cannot ignore the former…

How can I have a heart of two minds?

(Jennifer Bush (now Harris), age 23) August 20, 2004-personal canon


30 Days Of Jaye: Enchantment

I know not from

Where he came,

He has woven a

Spell upon me…

A spell that manifests

Itself as enrapturing


It begins to be maddening

To be without him.

What certain

Magick works its

Way through me

And draws me nearer

To him?

He has bewitched me…

He quickens me in

Cool places that

Were once void

Of such pleasure…

Of such effortless


This sense of

Love I have never

Felt with another,

Dare I say,

I never truly will


What I have

Experienced in his

Company far surpasses

What I have experienced

With any other

He has intrigued

Me thoroughly

And enticed me fully

I am in total

Adoration of him

I am at ease in

His company,

Safe inside his


Secure in his


A sense of a

Genuine bond.

A bond of such

True a base, that

I could never see

Myself to betray him.

He has given me

The humbling task                 

Of being entrusted

With his heart.

He was surrendered his

Will to me

I required no such

Sacrifice, however he

Has seen fit to give himself

Totally to me

This humbles me more so.

I shall submit

To him also

I have given

Him my heart

As well allowing

Him to have my

All of me as he

Sees fit.

I do this in

Hopes that he

And I will realize

That I am here

For him and

I want only him

And his happiness.

I want him to

Realize that I

Will not push

Nor prod him into

Something that

Ill-suits him

I want him to

Understand that the

Love that I have for

Him will only mature

If given the chance to…

I want him to

Realize that I

Will be what he

Needs me to be

To him as long

As I can be it to him

I have resisted his

Lure and fought against

The effect of him.

This ambition to

Belong to him

Has only rooted itself

Deeper within my

Being, residing there

Feeding and strengthening

Itself…as if it knows me.

It lovingly whispers these

Truths in my ear…

It reassures me of the

Honor of your intent…

My wish is to

Be possessed only

By him…

To belong to him

In every aspect.

To love him past

The realm of normal


My wish is

To love him…

Only him.

Jennifer Bush (age 22; now Harris) March 3, 2004 (*personal canon)

30 Days Of Jaye: Eclipse

i can only be what I am and i make no apologies for it i want you more than i am comfortable/and one day that may turn into a heated need that need coaxed thoroughly and expertly by you morphing into an ache that ruins and separates me from anyone else…

i would be perfect then, i muse molded into this thing of awesome beauty clothed and unclad vision of all that you may have ever wanted…to be the last thing you taste in the morning, and that last thing you want after the sun has gone and the moon takes his place to watch you feast upon me and all that is female and saved for you to roll, tumble, fall and be claimed by you taken, but freely given that i may show you exactly what anticipation of you has inspired me to perform to have you as i want my name being said over perfect lips with the effort of breath and the gentle tenderness of seraphim ravage you and have you hold me tighter than the air encased inside you and your pleas for more being my only satiation to give you me, as none has ever had me before

Jennifer-Phylon Bush (now Harris), May 28, 2008

30 Days Of Jaye: Meadowlark Sonnet

This one is a personal favorite, just like Enkindle. If you like this piece, get a piece of this magic by clicking here (this piece is included in Love Songs Of The Unrequited, Volume 1. There are 3 Volumes of Poetry. Support dope Black women writers and get a copy! It’s quarantine, might as well love on the one you enclosed with. -JBHarris

and dream of loves dreams,

soft caresses and kisses that hunger and linger only for me…

to taste and trap and suckle upon what is to be mine

and what is promised/yes to sleep sleep perchance to dream

 ah such things of love make heroes fools of their own folly/

writhing with innate aches no drug no spell no rune no chant may cure

the disease less fever/the careful poison that beckons that tempts that teases

  maddening sinew and bone/bestowing passion to the masses and fuel to the soul/

ah alas to be restless in such torment/

to be held in it/thrive in it/loved by it

  keep me close i pray as morning and its larks come forth/keep me hidden from  it/the light is all too real/all to tangible/ allowing such visions to fade as vapor/grasping gasping for what is never there/yet what will always remain

blessed and taken by the sun/anointed by moon/keep me close to this love…my love…/keep such harmonies fresh and supple

  this need this humbling need to have it/to taste it once more/ such things divide the mind and enrage the heart/ this need this need….i must have more.

-Jennifer Bush (now Harris), 2004

30 Days Of Jaye: Vixen

“If the Black woman wasn’t born, she would have to be invented.” -Nikki Giovanni

she has what most women

buy, beg, borrow and steal

to make their own…

She is easy in herself

and graceful without care

of trial

she is humble in such things,

although knowledgeable

she possesses a wisdom in this

that would not be found in others

she realizes that a wink

from her eye can cause heart

rates to quicken, and stride

in her legs cause others to follow

and the scent that lingers on her skin

can cause thought processes

to linger, stir, and reconfigure, perhaps focusing on her

this alluring revelation she revels in…

She cannot be placed,

and neither can she be forgotten

she lingers, lies in memory and thought…

However, while relishing such powers,

she rarely gives thought to it

its not a forethought

she would like it more that way

much simpler, more fluid

much like she is

albeit she is a mix of

beauty, style with boldness

and strength…with mischief to match

she is a creature of habit

and a creator of her

own destiny

she lives as she breathes…

Fully, freely.

-Jennifer Bush (now Harris), 2004

30 Days Of Jaye: To Dance Upon The Air

To have you once

 More my beloved would

Be my heart’s joy, and

My life’s reason

It is you and you

Alone that I have

Entrusted my heart

And soul to

it is you that my

spirit longs for

and my soul sings

such sweet sonnets for

to be loved by you

totally once again, and

in moments long forgotten


To watch divinely crafted

sunrises change you from

pale to amber-gold as new

sun christens us anew…

Permit me to be nearby

and be absorbed by you

let your scent linger on

the fibers on my skin, igniting

my essence in small waves

that tell of love’s intent

Grace me with the

honor of lying with

you as nightingales

rest and rise, and

larks greet the sun

My love, grant

me the pleasure most

deep to be yours and

to be yours in moments

current and demanding

Remember me after the

memories have faded

into thoughts and pressures

 of the present

Recall the closeness that

we share and will have

near to us always,

cherish me and what

I mean to you

Belong to me

as I belong to you…

Embrace me,

Kiss me, and

let the world fall away.

-Jennifer Bush (now Harris), 2004

30 Days Of Jaye: Muñeca (‘Doll’)

This one is a personal fave! This was written as a poetry exercise in Dr. Wall’s Introduction To Poetry class in Fall 2011. We had to write a poem about one of the items in the room. I chose this pretty, ornate black and gold fan. Imagination took over from there! -JBHarris

Red-fire brimmed skirts twirl

Under far off light, as hard shoes

Lay waste to the ground beneath

His hands make melody of her skin,

Whirling her back and forth,

The coal halo about her

Head and neck revealing divine sculpture

Of her neck and shoulders.

Notes course through the veins of her

Recipients, with her beauty as

Its pulse, hiding the purpose of every

Glance behind a glided fan.

Relaxed now as her rhythm has

Given way to her sway, perfume

Lingering over tablecloths as

Moonlight on water, the halo

Now a rippling waterfall

Between the sculptured

Rock of her back and shoulders.

The pant of every man her

Name as they desire to be the

Cool air that sweeps from the

Wrist gliding over décolletage,

Admiring scarlet lips, that whispers

 â€śNo more now.”

Jennifer Bush (now Harris), September 2011-personal canon/English 3030

30 Days Of Jaye: Le Divorce

Marriage is hard. Divorce his harder. I have done both. -JBHarris.

White, neat and lacey

Demure and unassuming

Beautiful and confining

(The Empire fallen)

Conforming to the day, elegant and needy

The underskirts supported, tailored

Being empty and lack

No form, no light except that which is opaque and flat

Needing form to fill

Yet, empty of soul

No solace or peace

But the appearance, soundlessly blank

Hems are worn

Seems out stretched

Threadbare to the floor

At the foot of the worn shoes

The jewels broken

Rings that bare no weight

Resting upon the sill of what can be no more.

-Jennifer Bush (now Harris), 2011-Personal Canon/English 3030 class

30 Days Of Jaye: Seeking, Sought, Fulfill

This one is special because I was in a low when I wrote it. Every so often I read it to remind myself of my own dopeness and magic. I hope in such darkness, this can be light. Be strong, dear ones. -JBHarris

For so long, I

forgot what strength

was and the ability to

realize what it truly is

I have been shattered more

than once,

being forced on such

occasions to put shards

back together on instinct

not truly knowing how,

and at the same time knowing

that the whole, once I make it

so will be different than

it ever could hope before

somehow along this path

the fire that I relied on was misplaced,

the passion was taken

what I once saw in myself was

falsified, made a mockery of

I had no way of knowing that it was

gone until I made attempts to

find it once more and could not

understand why I could not draw upon it

such things cause the heart to cry,

force the spirit into dark confusion

yet, hope remains…stable and true…pure beneath the underneath

lying in wait for me to find it once

more, whispering softly that I can, I shall, I will

and it can be done

I find these shards, moving past the fear of

losing them, and even looking for them

fearing that they may never be what I wish, will and want

them to be again

I find them in weeds, among the sands, in murky waters

and in roses, they were always here

as the pieces are found, they are put together

slowly, glowing in faith…the faith that was never taken

my spirit heals, begins to hover

the embers surrounding this jewel that I

hold, glow and crackle

it has never been extinguished, merely smothered,

smoldered, and unsuccessfully snuffed…somehow the

embers…these small certain things remain

they will burst forth soon

I find more shards,

more lost pieces of me that I thought

I would never attain again

the charm, the wit, the sureness of self…

Hidden in tall grasses, behind the vacant and

unused potential

these embers become small flames then

soft burning begins

it whispers louder now

telling me that all that I need, I have

and I will always have

I am not my circumstances, stumblings, shortcomings or laziness

I need not look to those who

have no intent on showing me whom I may

be, who I am or what I am capable of

my spirit becomes whole

again, the fire returns, the fire that

I have sought in others through word

and deed,

I find more shards to this jewel

this ever-present and precious gem

it is mine to protect, and I have not done so

at the best of my talent

as I realize these things, the more shards


I am half done with it now,

each time I acknowledge where I have fallen

I know that I cannot remain amongst these that still remain

wallowing in what they may change but have

no desire to…they have lost themselves

just as I have…just as I did

I wipe my brow, bandage what is broken

and I continue, I have no

choice but to do so

I must find all of me…I must seek my jewel

my own power

my ever-present being…I must prove to myself

that the eyes that peer back into mine

in mirrors are truly mine and

I am a worthy and able to look back into them

they will no longer be chilled and distant

passion will return, faith will be

squared and solidified, the fire will fuel this drive

I will not linger, or tarry where I am not

able to keep this jewel into

the light where it must be

to allow the light to decorate the many

facets, spilling and dispelling the

darkness that wishes only to

draw me into its fathoms once more

where there is no warmth

no trust, no love, only deception and stagnance

I must arise from this from which

I have fallen into

preserve the jewel that has be given to

me, I must find all the shards

the light must return to it

it must in order to heal and soothe my

aches, and wash away bruises and tears

once it is whole, I will be

whole, I will be me once more,

lost nevermore

Jennifer-Phylon Bush (now Harris) August 6, 2004 -Personal canon

30 Days Of Jaye: Credence

to have the gift

of words, and being able

to craft and seduce language on

and in all of its rhythms is awe-inspiring

to have and possess such wisdom

through this gift is humbling

yet I have not taken full advantage

of what may be written before me

Its almost as someone else may have written it….but they didn’t. They can’t.

I have taken it upon

myself to write and absorb

all that is there upon written pages

taking in the knowledge that is

there and available

the wisdom is there.

-Jennifer Bush (now Harris (age 23)) September 1, 2004