I want to spit
Remembering every time
I told you that I loved you—
every time
I kissed you
every time
I close my eyes
to remind myself
of what peace
and love look like.
in the middle of hurricane wind
and hellfire knowing that
the desire you had for me
was only contingent
on “how quiet I would be”…
reliance fiercely on what
you knew I would become
because I would become
anything…for you.
because I was you, was a part of you.
because I would’ve was a part of you
I could not be without you
and now that the hurricane is over,
and the winds have gone
and the sun has come.
I want to spit
every time
I think of how deeply
I loved you
—-and meant it
-JBH, 12.8.2020
I Breathe Fire 