Last year, I was in a very different place than I am now. I can say that all of 2021 was more eye-opening that I thought it would be. As cliche as that is, it is true.
Last year I was grieving the end of my second marriage, I was full of shame, and I began to think that love just wasn’t for me. I mean, it was for everyone else, sure! But not me, not yet anyway. Imagine that, a love poet that doesn’t believe in love anymore. Couldn’t see herself being in love, loving anyone, or being loved by anyone again.
Just…imagine. Because that is where I was at. From that, with all the upheaval in the world around me, I am reflecting on just what love is. I am aware there are different kinds of love, I learned about that in Sophomore year of high school, but as a refresher, here they are:
The Greek god of love, right? And from that, my heart wasn’t ready to love anyone…and sometimes I think I still am not. But that is wisdom, because I know myself. I know how hard I go for someone, and what I to do with them. In this time, at this stage of my life?
I am no longer putting energy and strength in people whom do not want all of me, or can only handle me with a chaser.